Maybe I'm just old or maybe it's the world but I'm not built for that hustle culture/girl-boss type of lifestyle anymore that's so often glamorized on media by celebrity entrepreneurs and hypebeasts. Not that I ever attained that level but I used to equate that stature to ~*success*~ when I was younger and who doesn't want to succeed in life, right? However, as cliché as it may sound, success is subjective and incredibly overrated anyway. Do you want to chase society's definition of it or would you rather work towards your own definition instead?
This isn't to say that dreaming of the stereotypical successful life is wrong, of course. That's just not what we're after here.
***
When I graduated from college I took a gap year to rest and mentally/emotionally prepare for the life ahead of me—a privilege I tried not to take for granted. I consumed as much content as I can. I watched movies and binged on various TV series/anime/K-drama, you name it, almost everyday. I stayed up late to get inspirations from Tumblr, Weheartit, Lookbook, and Pinterest hoping something will spark something within. I finished my pending books at home and effortlessly filled my old blog with my unemployed emotional nonsense.
And here's the thing: I may not have any money but I definitely had time and that alone was priceless.
I have never created as much art as I had during that period. I got to practice playing the guitar regularly. I started eating clean and exercising religiously (this only lasted for 2 months though, it was harder than I thought!) I learned how to drive and to bake and was almost always available to hang with friends and family. I mean, learning life skills while having quality time with loved ones? I couldn't ask for more. Looking back, I'm still in awe of how contented I felt then despite the lack of "career" and "direction" as dictated by the society's standards that you should have, which just reinforced my doubts on getting a full time job. LOL
But reality bites and I knew I had to get a job or any source of income eventually in order to survive, and so I did. I remember asking myself over and over on my first job, "This can't be all there is, is it?" and I still ask myself that sometimes when things get tough. A 9-5 desk job for the rest of this life? Okay, sweet.
***
Fast forward to 2023 and here we are doing just that.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this but no, this isn't the dream life. At least not yet. But news flash: It's the only one we have and that's okay.
It took me years to accept this reality and though I still struggle with it sometimes, it's what also pushed me to create this space in the first place. Writing here, making collages, cover arts, recording songs—no matter how silly and stupid they may be—are the few pockets of air where my frustrated creative self can breathe. Just imagine having the rest of our lives without having to worry about bills and responsibilities; where all we need to do is spend our time honing our talents and skills and becoming the best versions of ourselves. Now, that is the dream.
And don't even get me started about those billionaires. I'm not going to lie, it's annoying knowing there are people in this world given this opportunity and never putting it to good use, but that's going to require a whole other article.
At the end of the day, it is what it is and we make do with what we have.
I'd like to know though, does any of this bother you too or am I just overthinking (as I usually do)? What would you do with your life if money weren't an issue? And none of that superficial bullshit, please. Honest answers only. :) x
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