After over a year, I think I already forgot how to write and talk to you so please bear with me.
I began 2022 with a resolution of publishing one post per month (as I've always tried for the last 3 years) and here I am once again trying to redeem myself on the final month of the year. Embarrassing, I know.
And I'm sorry.
To be honest, I seem to be saying this quite a lot lately. I feel like I've gotten too good at disappointing people in my life and the scariest part is the more I try to apologize to them, the more indifferent about it I become.
I'm sorry, this is the best I can do.
I'm sorry I can't give any more of my time to you.
I'm sorry I can't prioritize this and that at the moment.
I can't seem to meet their expectations yet somehow deep down I don't really feel bad for choosing myself and disappointing them. Am I making sense here? Maybe it's me and my selfish, insensitive self winning over. Maybe it's being human. I don't know, I guess we'll find out later on. Perhaps the more appropriate thing to say is
Sorry... but I'm not really sorry.
Besides, I don't think I can ever disappoint anyone as much as I already disappoint myself with all the things I say I'll do but never actually do *coughs* like blogging LOL. (In my defense, I've been enjoying creating reels over on Instagram lately if you want to check it out. That's where I've been spending my extra time on) So you best believe I got offended upon reading this quote, which I rightfully deserve. Let this be a reminder for you too.
You are what you do, not what you say you'll do. ~ C.G. Jung
And let this be an accountability post to keep myself committed to my goals no matter how small they may be.
***
Despite this, I feel like it's been a generally productive year though. We just moved into our new home (which took about 2 years to finish—more on this soon! Here's a sneak peek), took my first plane ride again after 3 years (I know we all missed this feeling), got promoted at work, got new tattoos (!!!), watched live concerts again after 2 years (and almost cried because I forgot how much I love it) and met an awesome guy (YIEE) who's been practically my travel buddy/partner in crime this past 10 months... Boy, has it been that long?!
So you see, there's way too many blessings to be thankful for and I refuse to feel sorry about what I may have lost along the way. New year's almost here and we're about to restart with fresh goals and resolutions in mind. Let this be a public promise to start actually doing and sharing things on my personal to-do list. Let me get a little more personal with you this time. :) x
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