To the one who left without saying goodbye

I knew it. I saw it coming. Because that's what the likes of you always do. That's why I never believed in anything you said in the first place because you are bound to eat them all anyway. Not being pessimistic, I'm just being realistic. And true enough, I was right. And it's getting exhausting, being right all the time. Yet, being the stubborn girl that I am, I still did it - I came up with the most poisonous thing one can possibly think of: what if. What if you're telling the truth, what if you really are different. What if we tried.

Because, see, you made it seem possible with you. I couldn't lose a dare, especially when being accused of cowardice, nor can I keep playing safe all my life. If you remember, you made it your goal for me to realize that. I'm fully aware that at some point I gotta take that leap and I'm not gonna lie, I considered it. I considered it with you.

And here we are.

No, wait. It's just me since you're nowhere to be found. Normally, I'll just shrug it off, look the other way, and move on. Easy peasy. But I guess I've changed. As much as I hate to admit, I did open up a crack and somehow you got in and moving on this time got a little bit harder than usual.

Sucks for me.

But I'll get there, just wait and see.

Now if there's anything I want to say to you, it's probably this:

You don't walk into someone's life, make them feel something, and then just leave like nothing happened, without even an ounce of decency to say goodbye. I never asked anything from you but this. Because I already knew it's going to happen, it was always just a question of when. (I guess having trust issues ain't that bad) Still, I believed you respected me enough to give me at least that. And look at what I get for trying to change and believe in people.

I don't hate you, no, because hating requires way too much energy than I'm willing to spend. It's not my fault that you don't know how to finish what you started. I was hurt, sure. But I'm currently working towards indifference, because isn't it such a waste to have emotions on stuff / people that are unworthy? Soon enough I will get tired of wondering about what went wrong and accept the fact that there are things best left unknown.

But I'd still like to thank you. Despite everything, you've proven to me that I'm still capable of caring. Maybe not the way we both imagined, but hey, it worked. And that's something, coming from someone like me.

So I guess this is it. The end of a story about what-could-have-been. I'd wish you the best but you've already had it. So good luck, maybe? 👋